In just a few short hours from the time of this writing, the nominees for the 95th Academy Awards will be announced via Disney+. Why do we announce the nominees a full month into the New Year on a streaming service? Great question for which I have no answer. Were I to be able to ask that question of the Academy, I’d also ask them why they’re holding the actual ceremony itself in mid-March. For context, March 12th is 50-odd weeks after Everything Everywhere All At Once, a movie that will undoubtedly do quite well in nominations and possibly even wins at this very award show, debuted in theaters. So. Lots of questions, not a lot of answers here, I’m sorry.
2022 is an odd movie year to evaluate. There were the obligatory highs and lows, of course, but in some ways it felt like a year spent in Bizarro World. Many of the Oscar-y movies fell flat both at the box office and with critics and that left a lot of room for big blockbusters, usually a sore spot for the Academy, to break through and carve out some space at the table. I’m here for that, by the way; there’s nothing more annoying to me than Oscar nominations going out to lackluster Oscar-y kinds of films simply because they are Oscar-y even in their mediocrity. Even still, it’s a bit weird to see movies like Top Gun Maverick and Black Panther: Wakanda Forever polling well amongst the standard Academy fare.
Overall, I liked a lot of what 2022 had to offer but few movies separated themselves from the pack. Or perhaps I’d prefer to look at the year’s films in tiers. I’ve got five or so movies in the top tier and they’re hard to choose between as to which of them is the BEST. Then there’s a group of ten or so movies in tier two, also all jammed up. And another ten or fifteen in the tier below that. And so on and so forth. So, for my annual Super Fake Academy Awards Ballot, I’m spreading the wealth around and maybe even getting a little wheels off in some of my choices in an effort to show a little love to a few more movies that I enjoyed in 2022.
NOTE: I’ve yet to see Tar, The Whale, Women Talking, and probably a couple of others that have some weight and bearing in this conversation. I blame limited release and Hollywood’s insistence on dropping 514 movies all at one time one week before the year ends.
ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Banshees of Inisherin
Cha Cha Real Smooth
Everything Everywhere All at Once
The Fabelmans
The Menu
Final Cuts: Aftersun, Nope, The Woman King
Super strong category this year, which we love to see given our frequent collective lamenting of how every movie is a sequel, prequel, reboot, or adaptation of an existing property. I’m going Banshees over Fabelmans by a nose simply because, while Martin McDonagh might be the best screenwriter in the business and I always expect perfection from me, this one still blew me away in conceit and content. He’s a genius.
ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
All Quiet on the Western Front
The Glass Onion
Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio
Marcel the Shell with Shoes On
Top Gun: Maverick
Final Cuts: The Batman, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Thirteen Lives
I went back and forth on this one. I think Rian Johnson’s writing on Glass Onion is even better than it was on Knives Out and I thought Knives Out was brilliant. Maverick isn’t exactly the typical writer-y kind of movie that gets a nod but it speaks to the achievement that this movie is and why it was so successful. I was kind of dreading Pinocchio and was relieved by the touching, incisive way GDT and Patrick McHale reinvented a very tired story. The sweet, funny, unique experience that is Marcel was very hard to overlook and for a while I had this as the winner. But I kept coming to All Quiet, a movie that is haunting me two weeks after my viewing and for which the scripting is impeccable.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
Paul Dano, The Fabelmans
Brendan Gleeson, Banshees of Inisherin
Judd Hirsch, The Fabelmans
Ke Huy Quan, Everything Everywhere All the Time
Brad Pitt, Babylon
Final Cuts: Jovan Adepo (Babylon), Diego Calva (Babylon), Barry Keoghan (Banshees of Inisherin), Edward Norton (The Glass Onion), Seth Rogen (The Fablemans)
I say it every year so here goes: This is always the toughest category to whittle down to five and usually the toughest from which to pick a winner. I expect Keoghan will get a spot in the final five over Pitt and I’m fine with that. For me, Pitt was the most compelling figure in a very flawed film and I think he deserves a spot in the conversation. I would have had him in my final five for Best Actor as well had the studio chosen to run him in that category. I could honestly pick any of the remaining four nominees and be happy with their win and even as I type, I’m having second thoughts and reconsidering Hirsch as the winner. But I’m going to stick with Ke Huy Quan and if that decision is based in part by the narrative of his return to the screen, then so be it, it’s a heckuva story and he deserves this win.
BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Angela Bassett, Black Panther: Wakanda Forever
Kerry Condon, The Banshees of Inisherin
Frankie Corio, Aftersun
Stephanie Hsu, Everything Everywhere All the Time
Michelle Williams, The Fabelmans
Final Cuts: Jamie Lee Curtis (Everything Everywhere All the Time), Lashana Lynch (The Woman King), Janelle Monae (The Glass Onion), Jean Smart (Babylon)
This one was tough to narrow down to five nominees and I fully expect to see Jamie Lee Curtis’s name on the list of nominees when I wake up in the morning. I’m fine with that, as long as Hsu is also nominated given that her performance is just as good (better, by my estimation) and her character is vital to their shared film. The winner, though, was a bit easier for me to pick. Bassett is the literal beating heart of Wakanda Forever and her unmatched grace, poise, and strength shines beautifully in that role.
BEST ACTOR
Tom Cruise, Top Gun Maverick
Colin Farrell, Banshees of Inisherin
Daniel Kaluuya, Nope
Daniel Radcliffe, Weird: The Al Yankovic Story
Adam Sandler, Hustle
Final Cuts: Daniel Craig (The Glass Onion), Ralph Fiennes (The Menu), Felix Kammerer (All Quiet on the Western Front), Gabriel LaBelle (The Fabelmans), Paul Mescal (Aftersun)
Alright, here’s where things get admittedly wheels off. I saw ten thoroughly worthy Best Actor performances this year (and expect Brendan Frasier will qualify as number 11 when I finally get to see The Whale). Farrell was so far and away the best performance that, for me, the other four nominations almost don’t matter. This is Farrell’s award (again, pending The Whale), plain and simple. So, I picked slightly against the grain for the other spots. Nope disappointed me a bit but Kaluuya was outstanding. As with the Screenplay nomination, Maverick is not the kind of movie an actor would draw a mention from here usually but at a certain point, I think we ought to just give Cruise an award for being Tom Cruise On Screen for 40 years and if this isn’t the time then when is? Sandler got a SAG nomination for his outstanding turn in Hustle so while I don’t expect to see his name on the list tomorrow, it’s not an overly outlandish take. But I know I’m definitely getting (*puts on sunglasses*) weird with the Radcliffe selection over Fiennes, Craig, and Kammerer. The odds of Radcliffe having his name called are somewhere between 0 and 0.0000001 but I maintain that his comedic performance in one of the more surprisingly good and likable movies of the year is very, very good and deserving of adulation. If you don’t like it, I invite you to eat it. (This is a reference to the Weird Al parody song “Eat It”, sung to the tune of Michael Jackson’s “Beat It.” The best jokes are always the ones you have to explain.)
BEST ACTRESS
Viola Davis, The Woman King
Danielle Deadwyler (Till)
Margot Robbie, Babylon
Ana Taylor-Joy (The Menu)
Michelle Yeoh, Everything Everywhere All the Time
Final Cuts: Dakota Johnson (Cha Cha Real Smooth), Zoe Kazan (She Said), Jennifer Lawrence (Causeway), Carrie Mulligan (She Said), Keke Palmer (Nope), Florence Pugh (Don’t Worry Darling)
Lots of good nominees and potential nominees here. I very nearly made a spot for Queen Florence who gave one of the very best performances in an awful movie I’ve ever seen. But I just can’t hand out nominations for terrible movies, I’m sorry. Ultimately, this comes down to Davis and Yeoh, both of whom are at the pinnacle of their profession and both of whom gave tremendous performances. It’s Yeoh by a hair for me but I’ll not be sad if Davis comes out the winner. (I assume Cate Blanchett will have a voice in this conversation once I see Tar.)
BEST DIRECTOR
Edward Berger (All Quiet on the Western Front)
Joseph Kosinski, Top Gun Maverick
Daniel Kwan and Daniel Scheinert, Everything Everywhere All the Time
Martin McDonagh, Banshees of Inisherin
Steven Spielberg, The Fabelmans
Final Cuts: Gina Prince-Bythwood (The Woman King), Cooper Raiff (Cha Cha Real Smooth), Rian Johnson (The Glass Onion), Matt Reeves (The Batman), Dean Fletcher Camp (Marcel the Shell with Shoes On)
The nominees are pretty straight forward for me on this one, as I’m rolling with the directors of what I think are the five best movies I saw in 2022. Prince-Bythwood was, I thought, a lock here but I can’t get All Quiet out of my head and it made a late surge into the top five at the expense of The Woman King, with my deepest apologies. Picking the winner is a much more difficult task due to the feeling of this being a tier kind of thing as mentioned above. So, if we call this a tie, then my very official rule book says the tie goes to Steven Spielberg because he is Steven Spielberg. I fully admit this is a homer pick and I’m okay with your scorn and aggressive eye rolling.
BEST PICTURE
All Quiet on the Western Front
Banshees of Inisherin
The Batman
Cha Cha Real Smooth
Everything Everywhere All at Once
The Fabelmans
The Glass Onion
RRR
Top Gun Maverick
The Woman King
Final Cuts: Black Panther: Wakanda Forever, Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio, Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, The Menu, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish
I had six locks here, the films of the five nominated directors plus The Woman King, and two further almost-locks (Cha Cha and The Glass Onion). Sorting out the next five movies, or so, was a challenge. RRR was an absolutely bonkers global sensation that felt too big to ignore and of the remaining choices, The Batman is the one I’m most likely to revisit frequently in the future and also just, I don’t know, I want to give Warner Brothers and DC some credit for FINALLY getting a dark and gloomy movie right. Marcel, Pinocchio, and The Menu are the first three out, all by shades of gray. As for the winner…I could make a case for any of The Fabelmans, Banshees, Everything Everywhere, All Quiet, and Top Gun. It’s a tier, you guys. As it is, I’m spreading the wealth and going with the movie that reminded a whole lot of people how awesome going to the movies can be while simultaneously giving Hollywood a near-perfect example of how to make a big, BIG movie the right way, a lesson that I’m sure will be ignored completely. It’s a huge achievement in filmmaking when it could have just been a huge movie and I love the movie for that.