Ranking the DC Comics Movies

Listeners of the show and people who know me in real life know about my Completionism, a life altering condition that forces me to be all in or all out on pretty much everything in my life. I like lists, I like rankings, but in order for my brain to work properly (or very NOT properly as the case may be), I feel like I have to have as much knowledge as I can possibly have about said subjects. As such, when I set out to put together a ranking, I feel like I HAVE to do a deep dive into the particular franchise or universe I’m writing about in the interest of fairness. Sometimes, that’s no problem. I love the Marvel movies and have no problem watching any or all of them any time. The DC movies are, ahem, a different animal.

I want to put this out there right up front: I love Batman. He’s my favorite superhero, hands down. Moreover, growing up, outside of Spider-Man, all of the comic book characters I cared about were DC, not Marvel. I desperately WANT the DC universe of films to be as good if not better than the Marvel universe just because of my longtime interest in the characters. I would be lying, however, if I said that was anywhere close to the truth. The DC brand has been dragged through the movie mud repeatedly and dredging through this collection of films was a chore at times, a punishment at others. This is an incredibly top heavy list, followed by a host of films that, in my book, range from “not good” to “very bad” to “oh sweet Death, please come and take me quickly.” I tried to stay positive but, dear readers, this was a difficult task. Here now, I present to you my official ranking of all the DC comic and graphic novel film adaptations from worst to first.

(NOTE: I didn’t have time/interest/brain power to see Steel, Supergirl, or the Swamp Thing movies. I am okay with these exclusions.)

21. Batman & Robin (1997) Rotten Tomatoes: 11%, Worldwide Gross: $238M

After having watched all of these illustrious movies over the last couple weeks, I think it would be more than fair to put Catwoman or even Green Lantern at the bottom of this list. They’re probably actually worse movies. But Batman & Robin physically hurts me. There’s not one frame, one line of dialogue, one subplot that works for even 30 seconds and that just should not be possible in a Batman movie. From the Bat Nipples on the Bat Suit on down, this movie is a travesty. I think watching it again actually took years off my life.

20. Catwoman (2004) Rotten Tomatoes: 9%, Worldwide Gross: $82M

True story: I had never had the pleasure of seeing Catwoman until I started this project. Lucky me. Who would’ve guessed that a movie directed by someone who goes by simply Pitof would be bad. This is a special kind of bad, though. Catwoman has an atrocious script and features probably the worst performance that an Oscar winner has ever given. Seriously, it’s a wonder that Halle Berry’s golden statue wasn’t reposesseded after this mess. My favorite scene was when Catwoman, imbued with special powers from some cat she saved, uses her abilities to play a game of sexualized one-on-one basketball with Benjamin Bratt while a host of elementary school kids look on in awe.

19. Green Lantern (2011) Rotten Tomatoes: 26%, Worldwide Gross: $219M

I hadn’t seen Green Lantern since I attended a midnight premiere in 2011. (Side note: I’d like to punch 2011 me in the face.) What an absolute trainwreck. To be fair, Reynolds himself isn’t TERRIBLE as Green Lantern but he’s also not good and he certainly doesn’t do anything to bring up the material. Also, Green Lantern gets special credit for attacking my eyes with some of the worst special effects I have ever seen in my entire life.

18. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1984) Rotten Tomatoes: 12%, Worldwide Gross: $36.7M

Wooo boy, this one is a peach. Preachy and outdated even when it premiered, The Quest for Peace basically finished the job that Superman III started and killed off the character for 20+ years. Made on a shoe string budget and featuring a clearly uninterested cast, the highlight of this movie is when Superman uses a net to ferry all of the world’s nuclear weapons into the sun. Seems logical.

17. Jonah Hex (2010) Rotten Tomatoes: 12%, Worldwide Gross: $10.9M

With a cast that includes Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, and Michael Fassbender based off of a fairly beloved graphic novel, you would think that Jonah Hex would be at least passable. And you would be wrong. Even the studio knew they had a dud in their hands, opening it against Toy Story 3 and essentially pulled it from theaters after two weeks. In truth, I don’t think Jonah Hex is QUITE as legendarily bad as the buzz surrounding it would have me believe but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s anything less than “very, very bad.”

16. Superman III (1983) Rotten Tomatoes: 26%, Worldwide Gross: $59M

I have a (VERY) small soft spot for Superman III because at least it attempted to do something a little different by bringing in Richard Pryor. But oh sweet goodness, what a TERRIBLE plot! I know it was 1983 and our understanding of computers and satellites was minimal but sheesh, the stuff that Pryor’s character is able to do with access to one satellite is so absurd that it becomes unwatchable. And while Superman splitting into two separate beings is a fun twist, the battle before and after said split is awful.

15. The Losers (2010) Rotten Tomatoes: 49%, Worldwide Gross: $29M

The Losers so badly wants to be fun and yet it fails to come through on that effort time and time again. A decent cast (including Idris Elba and Chris Evans just before his break out as Captain America) is overshadowed by a cumbersome, uninteresting plot and a painfully bad performance by Jason Patric as the lead villain. The bad taste Patric leaves behind is really the only thing I remembered from The Losers before my rewatch and I thought he couldn’t possibly be as bad as my memory would have me believe. But no, he’s incredibly bad and he takes what could be a B- sort of movie and plunges it downward.

14. Batman Forever (1995) Rotten Tomatoes: 41%, Worldwide Gross: $336M

There are parts of Batman Forever that work in some capacity or another. Kilmer isn’t a bad Batman, really, and some of the action set pieces hold up fairly well. But it is just so far over the top in almost every scene that after 20 minutes or so you start to feel like Jim Carrey is in your house and he’s just SCREAMING in your ear. To me, the whole thing boils down to horrendous direction, which makes the decision to give Joel Schumacher a shot at Batman & Robin even more frustrating.

13. Man of Steel (2013) Rotten Tomatoes: 56%, Worldwide Gross: $688M

This is undoubtedly the most frustrating film on this list. I didn’t care for Man of Steelupon first viewing and had soured on it even further over the last three years. When I sat down to rewatch it, I was struck by how good the stronger moments (the father-son element, some of the early action sequences, a slightly different take on the Superman origin story, etc.) really are…and how those moments are completely swallowed up by bad camera work, stilted dialogue, and a vision of Superman (and the universe he exists in) that thoroughly flies in the face of what Superman is all about. In the hands of a better director, I think Man of Steel could be a very fine film; instead, it’s mostly a mess.

12. Batman Returns (1992) Rotten Tomatoes: 80%, Worldwide Gross: $266M

Batman Returns gets worse with every viewing. Ten years ago I would’ve probably had this one somewhere around the top five. Five years ago, it would drop a bit but would still find a place in the top ten. Now, I think it only sits this high because of how much I dislike the films beneath it. On the plus side, Keaton is fine and DeVito is creepily great. On the downside, Pfeiffer’s Catwoman is excruciating from beginning to end and Burton lets almost every scene drag on and on, like he forgot the camera was rolling. In hindsight, we were probably past the Burton experience in 1992, it just took 15 years to realize it. Regardless, time has not been kind to Batman Returns.

11. Constantine (2005) Rotten Tomatoes: 46%, Worldwide Gross: $230M

Okay, I like Constantine. It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. Back off, we all have our weak spots! I would never say this is a “good” movie but I kind of dig Keanu’s zoned out take on the character and I’ve always found the concept interesting. Moreover, Peter Stromare’s portrayal of the devil in the final act is, I think, fantastic and bumps the movie as a whole up a grade or two for me.

10. Watchmen (2009) Rotten Tomatoes: 65%, Worldwide Gross: $185M

I will say this for Zack Snyder’s epic adaptation: it tries hard. I think as a whole, Watchmen rides the “is it good or bad?” fence in nearly every scene but there are moments of greatness (mostly involving Rorschach) and moreover, the graphic novel it’s based on is probably unfilmable if we’re being honest. I mostly despise Snyder’s sensibilities but it is ironic that it is Watchmen, on the surface his least accessible film, that brings out his best work (minus the music cues, most of which are awful). It’s a VERY flawed film but at least it’s one that received an honest effort.

9. Batman The Movie (1965) Rotten Tomatoes: 80%, Worldwide Gross: $3M

Campy, cheeky, and somewhat stupid, the original Batman movie is still a whirlwind of fun. Most people of my generation grew up with the Batman TV series playing some role in our lives and I probably watched the movie a hundred times in my younger years. I can’t say that the movie has held up over the last 50 years save for one element: It’s still extremely fun to watch. Adam West for president.

8. Superman II (1981) Rotten Tomatoes: 89%, Worldwide Gross: $108M

I’m not entirely sure which versions of Superman II I’ve seen and which I haven’t. Production issues resulted in Richard Donner being replaced at the helm and a final cut that was different from the original concept. Regardless, Reeve’s Superman saves this movie for me. Lois Lane, somewhat annoying in Superman, becomes INCREDIBLY annoying in Superman II and the fight between Superman and Zod looks pretty terrible 30+ years later. But Reeve really hits his peak here and carries the film to greater heights than maybe it deserves.

7. Superman Returns (2006) Rotten Tomatoes: 76%, Worldwide Gross: $391M

I will stand by Superman Returns as a quality comic book movie and I think it is the Superman movie that comes the closest to capturing the spirit of its hero while also delivering a somewhat interesting plot. I think it’s much more re-watchable than any of the other Superman films. It has two big problems, however. For one, at times it falls into a pattern of over-romanticizing the hero and his values to the point of become hokey. But more important, Bryan Singer and company missed on casting almost entirely. Brandon Routh isn’t a bad actor by any means but he doesn’t jump out at you as Superman. Kate Bosworth is overmatched by her role and seems out of place. And Kevin Spacey is just plain bad as Lex Luthor, which is weird because it seems like he’d pull this off quite well. I think if you made this movie with different actors but kept everything else the same, it’s a better product overall.

6. Superman (1978) Rotten Tomatoes: 93%, Worldwide Gross: $300M

This is one of those times when I’m forced to weigh the difference in personal opinion and objective criticism. I actually don’t care for this movie much. I think it’s boring and for the most part, it just doesn’t speak to me in tone or content. But, I can recognize that it’s a well-made movie featuring a quality actor in a prestige role and accept that while it’s not my cup of tea, it deserves a prominent place on this list.

5. V for Vendetta (2005) Rotten Tomatoes: 73%, Worldwide Gross: $132M

I had V quite a bit lower on my list when I first sat down to put this thing together. But after my re-watch, I came away much more impressed with the movie than I’d ever been before. It’s actually better in 2016, I think, than it was in 2005 and that’s quite an achievement. I’m a sucker for dystopian glimpses into the future but I gotta be honest, this one doesn’t seem too farfetched given the insanity of the Donald Trump phenomenon. V is well acted (the last truly good Portman performance?) and the writing mixes “playful” and “deathly serious” in an interesting way that keeps the plot moving at a solid pace.

4. The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Rotten Tomatoes: 87%, Worldwide Gross: $1.08B

I love The Dark Knight Rises. That’s not an extremely popular opinion but I’ll defend it to my dying day. To me, the big issues with the film are Bane’s mask (fixed on the blu-ray) and the over-packed plot. That could’ve been fixed by splitting the movie into two parts but then people would’ve accused Nolan and WB of money grubbing so it’s kind of a lose-lose. Obviously I think it’s the weakest of the Nolan Batman films but it’s still a darn good movie and one that wraps up a tremendous trilogy quite well, I think.

3. Batman (1989) Rotten Tomatoes: 72%, Worldwide Gross: $411M

I debated moving this one up a slot based on my personal attachment to it. Seeing Batman in the theater at age six was a formative experience for me. I love Keaton’s Batman, I love Nicholson’s Joker, and I think it’s an example of what Burton is capable of when his crazy creativity is harnessed appropriately. You could release Batman tomorrow and it would look almost just as good now as it did in 1989. It holds up extremely well in my book (minus the weird musical cues; late 80’s pop/hip-hop should be eradicated from our society).  “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” is an AWESOME quote. Plus, Batman gets extra credit for being THE standard of what a superhero movie should look like for a solid 15 years.

2. Batman Begins (2005) Rotten Tomatoes: 85%, Worldwide Gross: $374M

I remember only being vaguely interested in Batman Begins back in 2005 and now that seems ridiculously foolish. Nolan’s vision for the Batman reboot is so fantastic and his choice for the Caped Crusader was superb. Mock the voice all you like, but Christian Bale played both sides of the Batman-Wayne coin tremendously well. I’m not sure there’s ever been a better origin story in the comic book movie universe and Batman Begins sets the table brilliantly for what was to come.

1. The Dark Knight (2008) Rotten Tomatoes: 94%, Worldwide Gross: $1.04B

This should come as no surprise as really there’s no other sensible option to sit at the top of this list. The Dark Knight is the greatest superhero movie of all-time and in my book, it’s not particularly close. From a technical standpoint, it is a master class in filmmaking: shot selection, sound editing, production design…they’re all perfect. PERFECT. Add in a very strong narrative, an outstanding cast, and an iconic, untouchable performance and you’ve got an incredible film, regardless of comic book affiliation. I don’t think there will be a better superhero movie in my lifetime and I’m completely okay with that.

Brian Ranks His Worst Movies of 2015

There’s a dark side to movie blogging/podcasting that they don’t tell you about in Fake Movie Podcasting School: even in great movie years like 2015, there are still a lot of bad movies and you have to see some of them. Now, let’s start off by saying that I’m pretty good at avoiding really bad movies. We’re in an era of media saturation where it is very difficult to not know anything about a movie that opens in wide release. So I’m rarely caught off guard by a movie that just comes out of nowhere to completely suck the life out of me. As such, I mercifully avoided cinematic classics such as Mortdecai, The Cobbler, Victor Frankenstein, Jem and the Holograms, The Boy Next Door, Hot Pursuit, Rock the Kasbah, 50 Shades of Grey, and most importantly, Paul Blart 2 this year and thank the Lord, because that right there would be a who’s who of indescribably bad films from 2015. Nevertheless, if you see 100 films in a given year, you’re going to get involved with some stinkers and for all of its many merits, boy did 2015 have some stinkers. Here are the ten that stuck out the most for me.

DISHONORABLE MENTION: Trumbo (Box Office Total: $7.3M, 70%)

To be fair, Trumbo is not nearly as bad as nearly as bad as the rest of the films on this list and I probably could swap it out for a handful of others that may, in fact, be worse. I have Trumbo as a “C” and there’s a big difference between a “C” movie and a “D” movie in my book; it takes a lot to earn a sub-C grade from me. This movie deserves a mention here, however, because it’s gotten good reviews and even taken up a healthy amount of award chatter (including an Oscar nomination for its star) in spite of the fact that it’s basically a Hallmark Channel movie with a good cast. The script is a mess, the preachy-ness would seem heavy handed coming from a TV evangelist, and almost all of the acting outside of Cranston is cringe-worthy. It’s just a bad movie. Maybe not a terrible movie, maybe not a “worst of the year” movie, but a bad movie nonetheless and for some reason, we’ve decided to give it a pass. Well, the buck stops here for all six of you who’re reading this post.

10. Get Hard/Hot Tub Time Machine 2 (Box Office Totals: $90.4M/$12.3M, Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 29%/14%)

In 2009, The Hangover reinvigorated the R-rated comedy with a huge take at the box office and a ton of respect from critics. We are still paying the price for that success (as if two poorly received Hangover sequels weren’t enough). 2015 was rife with poorly conceived, even more poorly executed raunch-coms that felt tired and unnecessary (Ted 2 and Vacation also spring to mind). But for me, Get Hard and HTTM2 were the real “winners” of this malaise. Both are unfunny, horribly offensive, and populated by too many gross out “jokes” that seem beneath everyone involved. I need more from everyone involved in both of these movies. Except Kevin Hart. Less Kevin Hart. ALWAYS less Kevin Hart.

9. Pan (Box Office Total: $35.1M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 26%)

I wasn’t excited about Pan (and judging by its box office take and almost immediate disappearance from theaters, neither were any of you) but I expected it to be at least decent. I was so far off. This is the most recent film on this list so its particular awfulness is still fresh on my mind. There really isn’t anything positive I can say. Pan is unnecessary, ugly, poorly acted (you’re better than this, Hugh Jackman), and ill-conceived. Hook is a divisive film and it seems like the entire pitch for Pan was, “What if we made Hook thoroughly unwatchable?” Success!

8. Aloha (Box Office Total: $21.1M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 20%)

This one actually, physically hurts me. Cameron Crowe is one of my three favorite filmmakers of all time and he has proven that he is capable of creating not just a good film, but a total masterpiece. Unfortunately, he’s also now proven that he’s capable of creating a total piece of garbage. The signs were there that Aloha was a major misfire: the trailer was awful, the movie got pushed back multiple times, Sony basically tried to bury it, etc. But I just couldn’t bring myself to accept that Crowe, with a cast that includes Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, and Bill Murray could make a terrible movie…until about 10 minutes into the movie when I started crying and tearing my clothes in anger. And if we’re being honest, the first 10 minutes might be the best part of the whole movie. There’s a major subplot involving a satellite that neither makes sense nor even begins to fit in the fabric of the narrative. Aloha is, point blank, a disaster that I may never personally recover from.

7. Chappie (Box Office Total: $31.6M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 31%)

Coming off of the smashing success of 2009’s District 9, Neill Blomkamp could’ve had his pick of just about any sci-fi project he wanted (including the Alien spinoff movie that is perpetually on again, off again). Then Elysium was a huge disappointment in 2013 and now we’re down to Chappie, one of the most singularly confusing big budget films I’ve ever encountered. What should’ve just been a Short Circuit remake instead turns into a Die Antwoord music video staring an obnoxious, ridiculously hokey, blinged-out robot with attitude. Nothing about Chappie makes even a lick of sense.

6. Blackhat (Box Office Total: $8M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 32%)

“From the year that brought you Aloha comes another really depressingly bad movie from a director you love!” Michael Mann has made some INCREDIBLE films in his career, not the least of which is Heat, one of my ten or 12 favorite movies of all time. Somehow he’s now also responsible for Blackhat, a cyber-thriller that is light on both the “cyber” and “thriller” aspects of that combination and somehow makes Chris Hemsworth dull. I can forgive a storied director dropping a flop that seems like a passion project (Aloha probably fits that category) but in this case, I can’t even comprehend how or why Mann got involved with a film like Blackhat that seems so incredibly far out of his wheelhouse.
 

5. Entourage (Box Office Total: $32.3M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 32%)

There are people whom I like and respect who think Entourage is a great TV show. (Those people are wrong, by the way; it’s the worst.) But no hit show has ever aged faster or more poorly than this one. I have to believe that even hardcore Entourage truthers found the movie to be an utter mess of frat boy braggadocio and appallingly misogyny. Then again, misogyny, pointless plots, aggressively bad acting (there’s a good reason why no one from this cast has done anything of substance outside of this world), and stupid cameos are what the Entourage empire are built on so maybe it’s exactly what cool Entourage bros were looking for. OOOHHHHH YEAHHHHHHH!!!

4. Pixels (Box Office Total: $78.7M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 17%)

I could tell you any number of terrible things regarding Pixels. I could tell you that it might be Adam Sandler’s most mailed-in script to date. I could tell you that it somehow makes Peter Dinklage unlikable. I could tell you even Sandler himself seems tired of this bit. I could tell you there’s a plot point that involves Michelle Monaghan hiding in her closet, drinking wine from a sippy cup even though her youngest child is 12 years old and no one thought that was weird. All that and so much more. Instead, as an example of the brutal, embarrassing nature of the Pixels experience, I’ll simply tell you that in this movie, Kevin James is the President of the United States. That’s enough, right?

3. Fant4stic aka Fantastic Four (Box Office Total: $56.1M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 9%)

Bad superhero movies are nothing new. Catwoman, Daredevil, Spider-Man 3, and dozens more could make up a list that would bring even the most fervent fanboy to tears. But Fantastic Four is a special kind of terrible. It was supposed to be a reboot for a franchise that had already suffered some heavy damage due to the previous films and instead, it set Dr. Incredible and his friends back even further. It was supposed to be Josh Trank’s stepping stone between the delightful, small sci-fi hit Chronicle and a crack at the Star Wars universe. Instead, he had an utter melt down and lost both control of Fantastic Four and his spot in the Star Wars chair. It was supposed to be Miles Teller’s opportunity to take the momentum of Whiplash and turn him into a household name of star quality. Instead, he came across like a petulant child performance is wholly dependent on the work of others around him. In short, Fantastic Four is a complete and utter disaster; the kind that ruins studios; the kind that ends franchises; the kind that could very easily make its director unemployable. Fantastic Four might really and truly be the worst superhero movie of all time. Let that sink in.

2. The Ridiculous 6 (No Box Office, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 0%)

Oh, Adam Sandler. You really are the MVP of Worst of the Year lists. 12 year old Brian is so disappointed in you, Adam. While Pixels is atrocious, I will say at the very least, it has a mildly funny “one line” concept: “What if aliens sent a bunch of video game characters to fight us and our only hope to survive is a group of arcade nerds?” (Notice I said “mildly funny”; maybe “VERY mildly funny.”) It just happens that everything else about that movie is terrible, including (or especially) the writing of every line after that “one line” concept. In comparison to The Ridiculous 6, Pixels is a masterpiece. A painfully obvious send up of The Magnificent 7 (in case you are dumber than this script and couldn’t figure that out), the lack of jokes in this thing is STAGGERING. I truly don’t know that I’ve ever laughed less during a “comedy.” The best part of The Ridiculous 6 is Taylor Lautner’s horribly offensive portrayal of a “simple” man. Think about how bad the rest of the movie must be if that’s the worst part. *Gives you a minute to think* EXACTLY. There’s an entire subplot revolving around Rob Schneider’s diarrhea-riddled burro. That’s also sort of a high point, if I’m being honest. I physically hate this movie and everything in it.

1. Jupiter Ascending (Box Office Total: $47.3M, Rotten Tomatoes Score: 26%)

I’m going to give Jupiter Ascending one thing before I eviscerate it once more: It is so incredibly bad that it’s almost fun. Like, if in 20 years, this movie is a regular feature at an alternative theater’s midnight screenings for cult classic movies, I’d get it. It is BEGGING for the Mystery Science Theater treatment. That said, all things considered, Jupiter Ascending is the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Look, I’m sure there are worse movies out there; maybe there were even worse movies this year. But I’m pretty good at avoiding total stinkers like this and in truth, there are very few movies that have ever had money, resources, and a good cast at their disposal like this one  that have turned out this badly. At one point, the Wachowskis could have gotten funding for any movie they wanted…and they did, three times in a row (Speed Racer, Cloud Atlas, and now Jupiter), all of which were MASSIVE flops that have combined to essentially end their careers. (That’s a bit of hyperbole but not by much.) Some of the high points of Jupiter include Channing Tatum playing a space werewolf with angel wings, Eddie Redmayne sleeping through an entire movie in which he was starring, “visually stunning” creatures that look like the Koopas in the Super Mario Brothers movie, and gripping dialogue like, “You’ve never been stung by a bee before, have you, your Highness? That’s because bees can smell royalty.” If someone strapped me to a polygraph machine, put a gun to my head, and demanded that I name one honestly good thing about Jupiter Ascending or face death, I would simply say, “Tell my family I died with dignity” and greet death as an old friend. This movie is so bad that if I’d won Powerball, I would’ve rented the world’s largest theater and forced all of my friends, family, and acquaintances to watch it so we could all talk about how bad it is. Jupiter is an unmatched, uniquely awful experience that can only be appreciated by the few of us who suffered through it and lived to tell the tale. I will never be the same as I was before Jupiter.   

Top 10 Performances of 2015

When I make this list each year, I write out (with a pen and paper because I am old and I like the things of my ancient youth) just about any performance that I enjoyed in a good movie and then try to pare it down. Some years I wind up with 12 or 14 names that vie for these top 10 spots; some years it’s closer to 20. This year, my informal “finalists” list included 27 names. That’s how awesome 2015 was at the box office. I legitimately agonized not just over who to cut from the list but in which order to slate the lucky 10. It’s a tough fake job but I guess someone has to do it.

I’d like to note (as always) that this is a list of favorites, not necessarily “best.” There are plenty of crossovers between this list and my hypothetical Oscar ballot but I’m not here to argue that Emily Blunt’s turn in Sicario was somehow better than Brie Larson’s in Room, only that I enjoyed Blunt’s more. So keep that in mind as you browse through and look for reasons to yell at me.

HONORABLE MENTION – Mark Rylance – Rudolf Abel, Bridge of Spies

On the whole, Bridge of Spies was slightly underwhelming given its pedigree. Rylance, however, was anything but underwhelming. A great stage actor whose turn in the movie spotlight has been limited, Rylance turned in one of the quietest, least showy performances of the year and yet he constantly compelled the audience’s attention. It’s rare to go into a Tom Hanks movie and come out talking about another actor.

10. Emily Blunt – Kate Macer, Sicario

Blunt gets a spot on my list for the second year in a row and I’ll probably just save her a spot every year from here on out. A brilliant actress who takes challenging roles and always impresses, she’s also turning into a full on action star but in far headier action movies than we might typically expect. Sicario is one of my favorite films of the year and as the only woman in the cast, she more than holds her own in the midst of a dark, gritty story that would swallow up a lesser actress. Once again, I say to you, Disney: This is your Captain Marvel. Look no further.

9. Walton Goggins – Sheriff Chris Mannix, The Hateful Eight

Since his early days on The Shield on through his delightful run on Justified, few actors have grabbed my attention the way Goggins does. His drawl, his snake-y charisma, his Southern Shakespearean manner of speech is unlike any other guy in the industry. As such, Goggins is PERFECT in the Tarantino universe and in a vast sea of outstanding actors, it is he who stands out the most for me. He delivers Tarantino’s lines better than perhaps any actor ever has. And that is saying something, of course.

8. Johnny Depp – Whitey Bulger, Black Mass

My frustration with (bordering on disdain for) Depp over the last decade plus has been well noted. At one point, Depp was both the biggest star and the most sought after actor (and make no mistake, those are two remarkably different things) in Hollywood. Then his next 20 movies or so were a mish mosh of mediocrity, laziness, and white face paint, to the point that I hoped he would just stop acting altogether. Black Mass (for all its flaws) proved, however, that when Depp is motivated, he can still deliver a mesmerizing performance. I loovvvveee his take on Whitey Bulger. He finds the right mix of menacing charisma that you need to portray an outlaw like Bulger, the complete 180 from his lackluster turn as John Dillinger in Public Enemies. It’s an Oscar-worthy performance and I hope it gives him the jolt he needs to stop doing Alice in Wonderland sequels and get back to real acting.

7. Harrison Ford – Han Solo, Star Wars: The Force Awakens

I’m not sure what kind of list this would be if I left out Han Solo, the greatest American franchise character ever, in his triumphant return to the big screen. To be fair, there’s a little too much “Old Han Solo Being Cheeky Old Han Solo” in The Force Awakens. Just a little. But for me, that did nothing to diminish the unbridled joy I experienced when Harrison Ford was on my screen (all four times I saw the movie) nor the fun that Ford seemed to have playing his most famous character once again. These movies are in great hands moving forward (see below) but this one needed a guiding hand and Ford/Solo did that so brilliantly.

6. Jason Segel – David Foster Wallace, The End of the Tour

I had very little familiarity with David Foster Wallace heading into The End of the Tour and really only watched it because one of my cohorts on the podcast talked it up. Wow, am I glad I did. The vast majority of the film is just a series of conversations between Segel and Jesse Eisenberg and in its simplicity resides its depth. Segel is better known for comedy but he has some serious range as an actor and that’s on full display in Tour. He’s vulnerable and fragile yet brilliant and likeable, which is by all accounts who DFW truly was. In a lesser year, Segel probably garners some real award attention.

5. Michael B. Jordan – Adonis Johnson, Creed

I’ve been a fan of Jordan since his days on Friday Night Lights and I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am that Creed will be the film that defines his year, not The Fantastic Four. It would’ve been so easy to let Creed become Rocky Balboa’s film but Jordan refuses to let that happen. He’s just so stinking good and he will not be ignored for even one moment on screen. His portrayal is fierce and genuine and earnest and his approach to the character is near flawless.

4. Matt Damon – Mark Whatney, The Martian

Before The Martian debuted, there were those that said Damon “needed” a hit. I didn’t subscribe to that theory but he sure got one nonetheless. When I read this book, I thought Damon would be great as Whatney and he more than exceeded my expectations. What separates The Martian from other survivalist stories like Castaway is the sarcastic, downright fun nature of its protagonist and Damon nails that to a T. You also need Whatney to be extremely likeable in order to justify the expense of trying to bring him home and few actors embody “likeable” the way Damon does. He’s the perfect fit for this role and he plays it beautifully.

3. The Cast of Spotlight (Michael Keaton, Rachel McAdams, Mark Ruffalo, Liev Schreiber, John Slattery, Brian d’Arcy James, Stanley Tucci)

I’m cheating here because I couldn’t begin to pick out one member from this extraordinary cast and exclude the rest. Rarely have I seen a drama ensemble work so effectively. Spotlight has almost zero flash or showiness to it and while that may be a detriment to the cast’s Oscar chances, it’s also what makes the film so good. Each of these actors serves as a vital cog in the Spotlight machine and the combined weight of their performances is staggering. Each gets a moment or two to shine but it’s really all about the collaborative effort that takes Spotlight to great heights.

2. Sylvester Stallone – Rocky Balboa, Creed

Despite a long and at times illustrious career, Stallone never seems to get the credit he deserves. I get it, he sounds dumb and looks like a meathead. But he’s an INCREDIBLY smart guy who “gets it” better than almost anyone. I don’t think anyone on the outside expected Creed to be the triumph that it is but you know who did expect it? Stallone. He knew exactly what he was getting himself into here and how it would be received. Always his best character, returning to his Balboa roots the way he did here was a stroke of genius, allowing him to stay in his range (admittedly small) while transitioning the character into a role that suits his age and experience. He’s funny and jovial for the most part but when he’s called upon to deliver genuine emotion, he gives us that in spades. I’m getting a little choked up just thinking about it.

1. Daisy Ridley – Rey, Star Wars: The Force Awakens

Of all the performances on this list, Ridley’s is the one that surprised me the most. I’d been looking forward to The Force Awakens for three years before December 17th and had run through the gamut of emotions and expectations of what was to come before stepping into the theater. At no point did it even cross my mind that of all the actors and characters involved in this story, the one I’d be the most intrigued by, interested in, and genuinely fond of would be the one played by a young girl I’d never heard of. And yet here we are. To be fair, Rey is a fantastically written character and Ridley had a lot to work with. But oh, how she NAILS every note perfectly! This is the “strong female character” we hear referenced so frequently, the soon-to-be iconic action character we want our children to look up to. I’m still blown away by how this fresh face was able to handle a daunting task like sharing scenes with Harrison Ford and coming out on top. She stole scenes from Han Solo, for goodness sake! It’s a fantastic character, Ridley was the perfect choice to play her, and when it all came down, I don’t think she or anyone else could’ve done a better job.