A Totally Non-Contrived, Fictionalized, Or Made-Up Interview with Zack Snyder

This piece originally appeared in our Mad About Movies Newsletter. It comes out once a month and is free. Sign up here. 

I meet Mr. Snyder at an undisclosed swanky LA eatery, an establishment he frequents for brunch/hangover recovery. It is 11:30 am and I can see the bags under his eyes in spite of the $800 sunglasses (he keeps the price sticker on the left side of the glasses). He is in good spirits, though he speaks with the speed of a man who is forcing his brain to conjure each and every word through a haze of Jagermeister and vapor smoke. He apologizes profusely for his late arrival (30 minutes is nothing in this business, I assure him) then quickly responds to a text from his good buddy, Doug Ellin. Our food arrives promptly (ricotta omelet and coffee for me, branzino and three Mega Monster Energy drinks for him) and with a smirk and a crack of the knuckles, he indicates that he is ready for our interview to begin. 
 
Let’s just get right down to it. Is that cool? 
Yeah, bruh, let’s do this.
 
The reception for Batman V Superman wasn’t exactly positive. 
Well the entire concept of positive and negative is really kind of lost on me. A movie a made a few years back, and this was a freaking sick movie, was called Sucker Punch. Just, awesome babes—actually, funny story, I cast Emily Browning because I thought she was that Orbitz chick. I always had a thing for that Orbitz chick. Anyway, this movie, it was after this super lame Owl movie the studio made me adapt from a dumb kids book, so I decide I need to get back to my artistic center so I make this just balls out Sucker Punch flick and the movie just straight up rules. So like 3 years later I’m on Rotten Tomatoes and I see that Sucker Punch is at 26% and I’m like “I KNOW this movie is awesome, this is weird.” So I call Rotten Tomatoes and they explain their algorithm to me and it’s just like super confusing or whatever so I just hang up midway and I’m like, what is really even the point of these reviews? Like Batman V Superman is like 28% on Rotten Tomatoes. You know who else was number 28? Marshall Faulk, and that guy was sick. He was equal parts a threat in the run and pass game. Critics just don’t understand the stories I’m trying to tell and the scale through which I’m telling those stories.
 
But, in fairness, the movie didn’t score much better with general audiences, either.
But what does the word “general” even mean? It’s like General Robert E. Lee is a huge hero of mine. Great tactician, leader, thinker, but that bro totally fought on the side of slavery—which, I want to get this across in your piece bro, I’m totally anti-slavery. Wayne Brady is a close, personal friend of mine. Anyway , you could say that General Lee was generally a good general, but you’re going to have your qualms with him. People can say the same about my movies. I’ll totally own up to that.
 
I’m not entirely sure how to respond to that, but how would you respond to the viewers (not critics, I mean the average moviegoer) who disliked the film?
It’s maybe just not made for you, that’s all I’d say. Not every movie is for everyone or whatever.
 
Just before BvS debuted, there was a great deal of talk surrounding a supposed R-rated director’s cut. During production, did you feel like you were making the movie you wanted to make? And if so, do you think your movie would’ve been better received?
Look, I don’t like to get caught up too much in ratings. I think it’s archaic, arbitrary, and silly in the age of the internet. Kids can see like, totally messed up stuff with the push of a button, so why do demand all super hero movies be PG 13? Right? It just seems dumb to me. Obviously I would have liked more piss-jar in the flick, but in a studio setting, you have to give up somethings. It sucks, but overall, yeah the movie is pretty dope.
 
One of the bigger issues fanboys had with the film is the character design for Batman. He seemed less like the Caped Crusader and more like a masochistic serial killer. In hindsight, would you pull back a bit from that or is that the Batman you prefer?
I think if he was like 10% more jacked—and I talked to Ben about this—I think if he’s just more jacked, like super, super cut but still with a lot of body mass. Like, do you remember the wrester Scott Steiner?
 
No.
Well you should Google him, he was definitely what I wanted Ben to look like. I think if he was just super cut then people would understand and overlook some of the short comings. Scheduling-wise, we just couldn’t get Ben that jacked in time. That one is totally on me. I’ll own that.
 
In the wake of BvS’s truncated box office run, there has been some reshuffling at Warner Brothers and DC. Where does that leave you?
It leaves me as a super good looking rich guy in a great town making movies I want to make.
 
Got it. Let’s talk about Lex Luthor. What…what were you thinking?
Have you seen Now You See Me? I needed a brain like that in my movie. I like the concept of Jesse being totally in control of that movie. He’s totally a master of his magic craft, and Lex has to be just as brilliant. I just love that movie, if that’s on TNT, I will seriously throw like 5 models out of my house and just sit and watch it.

Just to clarify, do you think Jesse Eisenberg is an actual wizard based on the movie Now You See Me?
Who am I to say really? You know? He's not like a Gandalf or anything, but he's not Otto Porter either! Right?! 

Is it true that you required the entire cast to participate in Crossfit events in between shoots?
I wouldn’t say it was full on Crossfit because I’m not entirely certified, but it was a pretty intense work out. Another big hero of mine is Billy Blanks, the Tae Bo founder. I just want to have that vibe on my sets. Fitness and adherence to strict rules lead to a great set atmosphere and a sick finished product—not to mention being totally cut which models and regular chicks like.
 
It’s pretty clear that Ben Affleck is the most jacked Batman but who wins in an arm wrestling match: you or Christopher Nolan?
Ha. Chris is a close personal bro so I won’t so anything, but I think we both know! HAHAHA
 
::At this point Mr. Snyder laughs for two and a half minutes and takes a MASSIVE hit from his vape pen. I lose him in steam for another minute::
 
There you are, fantastic. Let's talk about Amy Adams. Amy is, by all accounts, a brilliant actress and a lovely person. How do you manage to make her so insufferable in your movies?
Well you can’t have Lois suffer too much, right? I mean, at the end of the day, that role—and all female roles—are essentially built to be damsels in distress. Except for my movie Sucker Punch which I mentioned earlier. In that movie the WOMEN are the heroes. Can you even imagine that!? Haha!! Seriously, I’ll get you a Blu Ray. But back to your question, we need to have Lois suffer, so she’s not totally insufferable but…
 
 
That’s not what that means, but let’s just move on. Can you confirm that you kicked Seth Grahame-Smith off of The Flash because his dead lift was “super weak”?
Totally untrue. And that actually pisses me off that this is spreading around. He’s not a huge guy, but his dead lift really wasn’t bad compared to his BMI. It was his Split Jerk and Snatch lifts that were seriously embarrassing. Can’t have a hero that doesn’t even have proper Split Jerk form.
 
I’ve heard you want to do a dramatic retelling of the American Revolution when you’re through with Justice League. Are there any other beloved characters, stories, or properties you’d like to ruin before Hollywood wises up and stops letting you make movies?
Well that rap version of Hamilton is pretty big so I thought it might be sick to do a James Madison biopic but set entirely to house music. Diplo is a friend of...Wait...Are you seriously coming at me bro? I was going to buy your breakfast. Seriously, I’ll make a great movie about myself tagging your sister! Armie Hammer is in talks to play me!
 
*Snyder lunges across the table, fist drawn*

Wait wait wait! Before you punch me, you should know: my sister’s name is Martha!

by Richard Bardon & Brian Gill

10 Sequels Even More Unnecessary than Now You See Me 2: The Second Act

This piece originally appeared in our Mad About Movies Newsletter. It comes out once a month and is free. Sign up here. 

10. Jarhead Sequels

Remember Jarhead? That mildly-received 2005 desert storm flick from American Beauty and now Bond-helmer Sam Mendes? Well, it got a sequel. Not one of them…but TWO sequels. Yep. Jarhead is a trilogy. And Jarhead 2: Field of Fire didn’t even come out until 2014, nearly a decade after the original. Jarhead 3: The Siege came out this year, and apparently only in Germany, China, and Sweden. Yikes
 
9. Horrible Bosses 2 / Hot Tub Time Machine 2

I just now realized that these two are, in fact, different films. Which one is more unnecessary? The first Horrible Bosses was a mild romp. A few laughs here and there, but instantly forgettable one no one had thought about until the sequel was announced. And Hot Tub Time Machine 2 comes in without its star John Cusack (probably the only way they could get the rest of the cast to return...Rumor has it that he’s a real butt-munch.
 
8. Dumb & Dumberer: When Harry Met Lloyd

Speaking of sequels without their leads, this sequel (prequel?) to the comedic classic Dumb & Dumber came out without the involvement of stars Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels. I guess the studio thought that a sequel to the 1994 hit would never happen, so lets just cash in while we still can, right? Cut to 2014…Dumb & Dumber To is released, making the prequel seem even more unnecessary. Both are horrible though. Don’t see them. They might ruin your childhood. Not kidding. Don’t do it.
 
7. Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo

“You know that horribly inappropriate and unfunny comedy starring that guy that no-one really likes and should probably never be the leading man in a comedy? How about we make a SEQUEL to that, but make it even more offensive and unfunny!” –former Sony exec who pitched this.
Roger Ebert’s review of European Gigolo sums it all up perfectly. “It’s aggressively bad, as if it wants to cause suffering to the audience.” You said it all, Rog...you said it all.
 
6. My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2

Surely this was only made because the first one was a surprise hit…FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. I can see it now…coming in 2029: Trainwreck 2, starring Amy Schumer! OK…the first one was, fine? But would anyone care fourteen years from now? The answer is no. There are four jokes in the trailer to MBFGW2 alluding to Greeks having a lot of body hair. Four body hair jokes in the trailer. I rest my case.
 
5. Home Alone Sequels

OK, so Home Alone 2: Lost in New York could be considered unnecessary, but it had charm, the original cast all returning, and of course the TalkBoy tape recorder. For some reason, they just kept making these. And the fourth one stars French Stewart. Keep getting them checks, French. And here’s an interesting fact. There’s a FIFTH Home Alone movie called The Holiday Heistthat came out in 2012. It’s ARGUABLY better than the original. Arguably.
 
4. Ace Ventura: Pet Detective Jr.

Jim Carrey burst onto the comedic scene in the 1990s with his crazy outlandish character Ace Ventura. Well this sequel comes after the embarrassment that was When Nature Calls and follows Ace’s son’s hijinks. This probably came out in the height of Blockbuster mania and the studio was just hoping that the name recognition would sell some rentals here or there, right? Nope. 2009. FIFTEEN YEARS AFTER THE ORIGINAL. So…Saving Silverman 2 and Monkeybone 2 should be announced any day now. 
 
3. Son of the Mask

This falls into the same category as our last “film” except now they have replaced Jim Carrey with Jamie Kennedy, who was the seventh lead in the Scream series and had a short-lived prank show on the WB. This one is almost so bad, its good. Its horrifically bad. It has a score of 2.2 on iMDB. By comparison…Baby Genuises and the Treasures of Egypt has a 4.3. Wow.
 
2. Jaws Sequels

Jaws was the first big summer movie. It re-defined how movies are made. It also set the trend for unnecessary sequels. Jaws 2 was universally panned as a cash-in and Jaws 3-D was a total gimmick. Surely they learned their lesson and quit making Jaws seq…NOPE. Jaws: The Revenge came and went, and made less than the $20 million cost of production. Spielberg must be so proud.
 
1. Now You See Me 3

It’s happening. And it’s literally the only movie more unnecessary than Now You See Me 2. Here’s hoping there’s a trilogy of prequels! How did J. Daniel Atlas meet Merrick? Why was Isla Fisher’s character so catty? Where does the carousel lead? SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

By: Kent Garrison

Ranking the DC Comics Movies

Listeners of the show and people who know me in real life know about my Completionism, a life altering condition that forces me to be all in or all out on pretty much everything in my life. I like lists, I like rankings, but in order for my brain to work properly (or very NOT properly as the case may be), I feel like I have to have as much knowledge as I can possibly have about said subjects. As such, when I set out to put together a ranking, I feel like I HAVE to do a deep dive into the particular franchise or universe I’m writing about in the interest of fairness. Sometimes, that’s no problem. I love the Marvel movies and have no problem watching any or all of them any time. The DC movies are, ahem, a different animal.

I want to put this out there right up front: I love Batman. He’s my favorite superhero, hands down. Moreover, growing up, outside of Spider-Man, all of the comic book characters I cared about were DC, not Marvel. I desperately WANT the DC universe of films to be as good if not better than the Marvel universe just because of my longtime interest in the characters. I would be lying, however, if I said that was anywhere close to the truth. The DC brand has been dragged through the movie mud repeatedly and dredging through this collection of films was a chore at times, a punishment at others. This is an incredibly top heavy list, followed by a host of films that, in my book, range from “not good” to “very bad” to “oh sweet Death, please come and take me quickly.” I tried to stay positive but, dear readers, this was a difficult task. Here now, I present to you my official ranking of all the DC comic and graphic novel film adaptations from worst to first.

(NOTE: I didn’t have time/interest/brain power to see Steel, Supergirl, or the Swamp Thing movies. I am okay with these exclusions.)

21. Batman & Robin (1997) Rotten Tomatoes: 11%, Worldwide Gross: $238M

After having watched all of these illustrious movies over the last couple weeks, I think it would be more than fair to put Catwoman or even Green Lantern at the bottom of this list. They’re probably actually worse movies. But Batman & Robin physically hurts me. There’s not one frame, one line of dialogue, one subplot that works for even 30 seconds and that just should not be possible in a Batman movie. From the Bat Nipples on the Bat Suit on down, this movie is a travesty. I think watching it again actually took years off my life.

20. Catwoman (2004) Rotten Tomatoes: 9%, Worldwide Gross: $82M

True story: I had never had the pleasure of seeing Catwoman until I started this project. Lucky me. Who would’ve guessed that a movie directed by someone who goes by simply Pitof would be bad. This is a special kind of bad, though. Catwoman has an atrocious script and features probably the worst performance that an Oscar winner has ever given. Seriously, it’s a wonder that Halle Berry’s golden statue wasn’t reposesseded after this mess. My favorite scene was when Catwoman, imbued with special powers from some cat she saved, uses her abilities to play a game of sexualized one-on-one basketball with Benjamin Bratt while a host of elementary school kids look on in awe.

19. Green Lantern (2011) Rotten Tomatoes: 26%, Worldwide Gross: $219M

I hadn’t seen Green Lantern since I attended a midnight premiere in 2011. (Side note: I’d like to punch 2011 me in the face.) What an absolute trainwreck. To be fair, Reynolds himself isn’t TERRIBLE as Green Lantern but he’s also not good and he certainly doesn’t do anything to bring up the material. Also, Green Lantern gets special credit for attacking my eyes with some of the worst special effects I have ever seen in my entire life.

18. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace (1984) Rotten Tomatoes: 12%, Worldwide Gross: $36.7M

Wooo boy, this one is a peach. Preachy and outdated even when it premiered, The Quest for Peace basically finished the job that Superman III started and killed off the character for 20+ years. Made on a shoe string budget and featuring a clearly uninterested cast, the highlight of this movie is when Superman uses a net to ferry all of the world’s nuclear weapons into the sun. Seems logical.

17. Jonah Hex (2010) Rotten Tomatoes: 12%, Worldwide Gross: $10.9M

With a cast that includes Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, and Michael Fassbender based off of a fairly beloved graphic novel, you would think that Jonah Hex would be at least passable. And you would be wrong. Even the studio knew they had a dud in their hands, opening it against Toy Story 3 and essentially pulled it from theaters after two weeks. In truth, I don’t think Jonah Hex is QUITE as legendarily bad as the buzz surrounding it would have me believe but that certainly doesn’t mean it’s anything less than “very, very bad.”

16. Superman III (1983) Rotten Tomatoes: 26%, Worldwide Gross: $59M

I have a (VERY) small soft spot for Superman III because at least it attempted to do something a little different by bringing in Richard Pryor. But oh sweet goodness, what a TERRIBLE plot! I know it was 1983 and our understanding of computers and satellites was minimal but sheesh, the stuff that Pryor’s character is able to do with access to one satellite is so absurd that it becomes unwatchable. And while Superman splitting into two separate beings is a fun twist, the battle before and after said split is awful.

15. The Losers (2010) Rotten Tomatoes: 49%, Worldwide Gross: $29M

The Losers so badly wants to be fun and yet it fails to come through on that effort time and time again. A decent cast (including Idris Elba and Chris Evans just before his break out as Captain America) is overshadowed by a cumbersome, uninteresting plot and a painfully bad performance by Jason Patric as the lead villain. The bad taste Patric leaves behind is really the only thing I remembered from The Losers before my rewatch and I thought he couldn’t possibly be as bad as my memory would have me believe. But no, he’s incredibly bad and he takes what could be a B- sort of movie and plunges it downward.

14. Batman Forever (1995) Rotten Tomatoes: 41%, Worldwide Gross: $336M

There are parts of Batman Forever that work in some capacity or another. Kilmer isn’t a bad Batman, really, and some of the action set pieces hold up fairly well. But it is just so far over the top in almost every scene that after 20 minutes or so you start to feel like Jim Carrey is in your house and he’s just SCREAMING in your ear. To me, the whole thing boils down to horrendous direction, which makes the decision to give Joel Schumacher a shot at Batman & Robin even more frustrating.

13. Man of Steel (2013) Rotten Tomatoes: 56%, Worldwide Gross: $688M

This is undoubtedly the most frustrating film on this list. I didn’t care for Man of Steelupon first viewing and had soured on it even further over the last three years. When I sat down to rewatch it, I was struck by how good the stronger moments (the father-son element, some of the early action sequences, a slightly different take on the Superman origin story, etc.) really are…and how those moments are completely swallowed up by bad camera work, stilted dialogue, and a vision of Superman (and the universe he exists in) that thoroughly flies in the face of what Superman is all about. In the hands of a better director, I think Man of Steel could be a very fine film; instead, it’s mostly a mess.

12. Batman Returns (1992) Rotten Tomatoes: 80%, Worldwide Gross: $266M

Batman Returns gets worse with every viewing. Ten years ago I would’ve probably had this one somewhere around the top five. Five years ago, it would drop a bit but would still find a place in the top ten. Now, I think it only sits this high because of how much I dislike the films beneath it. On the plus side, Keaton is fine and DeVito is creepily great. On the downside, Pfeiffer’s Catwoman is excruciating from beginning to end and Burton lets almost every scene drag on and on, like he forgot the camera was rolling. In hindsight, we were probably past the Burton experience in 1992, it just took 15 years to realize it. Regardless, time has not been kind to Batman Returns.

11. Constantine (2005) Rotten Tomatoes: 46%, Worldwide Gross: $230M

Okay, I like Constantine. It’s a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. Back off, we all have our weak spots! I would never say this is a “good” movie but I kind of dig Keanu’s zoned out take on the character and I’ve always found the concept interesting. Moreover, Peter Stromare’s portrayal of the devil in the final act is, I think, fantastic and bumps the movie as a whole up a grade or two for me.

10. Watchmen (2009) Rotten Tomatoes: 65%, Worldwide Gross: $185M

I will say this for Zack Snyder’s epic adaptation: it tries hard. I think as a whole, Watchmen rides the “is it good or bad?” fence in nearly every scene but there are moments of greatness (mostly involving Rorschach) and moreover, the graphic novel it’s based on is probably unfilmable if we’re being honest. I mostly despise Snyder’s sensibilities but it is ironic that it is Watchmen, on the surface his least accessible film, that brings out his best work (minus the music cues, most of which are awful). It’s a VERY flawed film but at least it’s one that received an honest effort.

9. Batman The Movie (1965) Rotten Tomatoes: 80%, Worldwide Gross: $3M

Campy, cheeky, and somewhat stupid, the original Batman movie is still a whirlwind of fun. Most people of my generation grew up with the Batman TV series playing some role in our lives and I probably watched the movie a hundred times in my younger years. I can’t say that the movie has held up over the last 50 years save for one element: It’s still extremely fun to watch. Adam West for president.

8. Superman II (1981) Rotten Tomatoes: 89%, Worldwide Gross: $108M

I’m not entirely sure which versions of Superman II I’ve seen and which I haven’t. Production issues resulted in Richard Donner being replaced at the helm and a final cut that was different from the original concept. Regardless, Reeve’s Superman saves this movie for me. Lois Lane, somewhat annoying in Superman, becomes INCREDIBLY annoying in Superman II and the fight between Superman and Zod looks pretty terrible 30+ years later. But Reeve really hits his peak here and carries the film to greater heights than maybe it deserves.

7. Superman Returns (2006) Rotten Tomatoes: 76%, Worldwide Gross: $391M

I will stand by Superman Returns as a quality comic book movie and I think it is the Superman movie that comes the closest to capturing the spirit of its hero while also delivering a somewhat interesting plot. I think it’s much more re-watchable than any of the other Superman films. It has two big problems, however. For one, at times it falls into a pattern of over-romanticizing the hero and his values to the point of become hokey. But more important, Bryan Singer and company missed on casting almost entirely. Brandon Routh isn’t a bad actor by any means but he doesn’t jump out at you as Superman. Kate Bosworth is overmatched by her role and seems out of place. And Kevin Spacey is just plain bad as Lex Luthor, which is weird because it seems like he’d pull this off quite well. I think if you made this movie with different actors but kept everything else the same, it’s a better product overall.

6. Superman (1978) Rotten Tomatoes: 93%, Worldwide Gross: $300M

This is one of those times when I’m forced to weigh the difference in personal opinion and objective criticism. I actually don’t care for this movie much. I think it’s boring and for the most part, it just doesn’t speak to me in tone or content. But, I can recognize that it’s a well-made movie featuring a quality actor in a prestige role and accept that while it’s not my cup of tea, it deserves a prominent place on this list.

5. V for Vendetta (2005) Rotten Tomatoes: 73%, Worldwide Gross: $132M

I had V quite a bit lower on my list when I first sat down to put this thing together. But after my re-watch, I came away much more impressed with the movie than I’d ever been before. It’s actually better in 2016, I think, than it was in 2005 and that’s quite an achievement. I’m a sucker for dystopian glimpses into the future but I gotta be honest, this one doesn’t seem too farfetched given the insanity of the Donald Trump phenomenon. V is well acted (the last truly good Portman performance?) and the writing mixes “playful” and “deathly serious” in an interesting way that keeps the plot moving at a solid pace.

4. The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Rotten Tomatoes: 87%, Worldwide Gross: $1.08B

I love The Dark Knight Rises. That’s not an extremely popular opinion but I’ll defend it to my dying day. To me, the big issues with the film are Bane’s mask (fixed on the blu-ray) and the over-packed plot. That could’ve been fixed by splitting the movie into two parts but then people would’ve accused Nolan and WB of money grubbing so it’s kind of a lose-lose. Obviously I think it’s the weakest of the Nolan Batman films but it’s still a darn good movie and one that wraps up a tremendous trilogy quite well, I think.

3. Batman (1989) Rotten Tomatoes: 72%, Worldwide Gross: $411M

I debated moving this one up a slot based on my personal attachment to it. Seeing Batman in the theater at age six was a formative experience for me. I love Keaton’s Batman, I love Nicholson’s Joker, and I think it’s an example of what Burton is capable of when his crazy creativity is harnessed appropriately. You could release Batman tomorrow and it would look almost just as good now as it did in 1989. It holds up extremely well in my book (minus the weird musical cues; late 80’s pop/hip-hop should be eradicated from our society).  “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?” is an AWESOME quote. Plus, Batman gets extra credit for being THE standard of what a superhero movie should look like for a solid 15 years.

2. Batman Begins (2005) Rotten Tomatoes: 85%, Worldwide Gross: $374M

I remember only being vaguely interested in Batman Begins back in 2005 and now that seems ridiculously foolish. Nolan’s vision for the Batman reboot is so fantastic and his choice for the Caped Crusader was superb. Mock the voice all you like, but Christian Bale played both sides of the Batman-Wayne coin tremendously well. I’m not sure there’s ever been a better origin story in the comic book movie universe and Batman Begins sets the table brilliantly for what was to come.

1. The Dark Knight (2008) Rotten Tomatoes: 94%, Worldwide Gross: $1.04B

This should come as no surprise as really there’s no other sensible option to sit at the top of this list. The Dark Knight is the greatest superhero movie of all-time and in my book, it’s not particularly close. From a technical standpoint, it is a master class in filmmaking: shot selection, sound editing, production design…they’re all perfect. PERFECT. Add in a very strong narrative, an outstanding cast, and an iconic, untouchable performance and you’ve got an incredible film, regardless of comic book affiliation. I don’t think there will be a better superhero movie in my lifetime and I’m completely okay with that.